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How to have the best mother and child bonding experience

I'm writing this blog from my own personal experience and from the heart.

Rolling back to my childhood, the youngest sibling, quiet and reserved. A sister whom from what I remember was in trouble frequently. My dad, hardworking, enjoyed the simple things in life. My mother, physically challenged but quite determined.

My mum shared stories with me, mostly off the cuff from her imagination, I really loved this and asked her to repeat again and again. I'm not actually going to talk about our story experience but one with a more deeper connection.

Due to my mums physical disability she struggled to reach her feet easily, one of the things she asked myself and my sister was to massage and relief her feet from discomfort. This became a regular occurrence. Unknowingly to myself this was actually setting myself up for a career in Reflexology.

At first I probably didn't enjoy it, I was probably under 10 to begin with, gradually It became a time where we both chatted, watched television together and shared a physical touch that helped to enhance the happy hormones.

Over the years as an adult I've reversed this to help children, comforting, calming and adding pain relief to their phyiscal body. As a nanny, gradually I introduced foot and body massage and little bits of reflexology, especially through the lockdown periods when I sensed emotions and meltdowns were imminent. Now two years on, they ask me for a foot massage on a regular basis.

The best thing is, both of the children I work with share massage back to myself, we have a little system going where all three of us are sharing and receiving either foot, back, neck and head massage. I really notice the softening of their energy, bringing a sense of ahhhhhh.... to all of us.

Unfortunately, I no longer can experience a bonding with my mother, who is no longer with us. But I truly believe that she helped me to pivot my empathetic an caring aura to help other parents and children.

One thing that I really feel for my mother / daughter relationship that would have benefitted myself would have been to use this time to develop communication skills, learning about how to confide and trust in opening up and sharing without the fear holding me back.

Even though I'm not the parent to the boys I nanny for, our massage sessions open up discussions about the body, helping them to understand their physical and emotional being so they feel comfortable expressing themselves as they grow and develop into young adults.

Here's my tips to help you and your child begin your bonding experience

  • Decide a time to begin your massage, before bed is advisable, perfect to bring their energy down from the day

  • Let your child choose a body moisturiser, you could even add some essential oils such as Lavender.

  • Ask your child which part of their body they are comfortable having a little massage

  • Together choose music that soothes both of you.

  • Begin massaging, go with the flow, maybe a gentle touch to begin with and check in with your child regarding the pressure.

  • This is a perfect time to share small chat about how they feel physically and emotionally. Start with one or two questions and even share about how your body feels when different life experiences show up.

  • Allow your child to dictate when they've had enough

  • Gradually incorporate simple massages throughout the day with your child as and when you notice their emotions heightening.

As I mentioned above, one thing I felt would have benefited myself was the massage from my mother and also someone to help us talk, to help me open up and come out of my shell.

That's why I've created a Therapeutic joint session for Mums and Children, focusing on each learning simple reflexology massage and sharing with each other. From myself, I prompt communication where both can express and share what's on their mind, to focusing on a particular emotion that's showing up and understanding what their bodies are telling them.

Nurturing and compassionately deepening your relationship/s to connect with and understand each others needs so you can live a happier and more fulfilling life where challenges are more easily resolved and life flows.


Healer & Therapeutic Leader

Peace and Presence Healing

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